Bon Voyage!

We've been wanting to go on a cruise for a long time! Ever since our honeymoon, we've wanted a chance to get away from it all. Don't get me wrong, we've done Disneyland in LA, eaten our fill of cheesesteaks in Philly, and joined the WHOLE Barnes clan in Disney World. Traveling has not been completely on the back burner, but if you know anything about my husband, you know we have a budget. 

Let's start by saying, I hate the budget. I know we need it, but it's like dieting. Put it in perspective: my dad publicly cut up my credit cards at our rehearsal dinner. I never used them when I wasn't allowed, but there were very few moments that I wasn't allowed. I like to spend money, and I'm a spoiled baby. I get it. 

Respecting my husband, and not wanting to ruin our marriage before it started, I (quite grudgingly) went along with his budgeting plans. And the spreadsheets. So. Many. Spreadsheets. We were doing alright. We got married in June, bought a new car in November, and in January Chase lost his job. Interesting turn of events, but we thought we'd be OK. We quickly realized how little we knew about money, and how we'd missed the MOST IMPORTANT truth: our money was not our own. 

God taught us so much through those three, lean months. He supplied all our needs. I even had a friend randomly give me a gift card for us to have a "date night." We started tithing faithfully. I don't say that to toot our own horn here. It's not about us. I only say it to put in perspective that God had plans for us and our money, and at first we didn't make it a priority to do things His way. He revealed His faithfulness to us through the painful times, and we wanted to be obedient because we were so thankful for the grace He had shown us. Part of that obedience, we believed, was to become debt free.

Debt freedom was quite a process for us. In four and a half years of marriage, we've each lost a job. We also wanted to become homeowners as soon as possible to avoid throwing away our money on rent. Thanks to a fantastic tax rebate, in 2009, we bought our home. The end of our debt came in a bit of a whirlwind. When I got laid off in the spring of 2011, one of our first decisions was to jump on the fast track to achieving our financial goal. We didn't want to be in debt in case I didn't have a job at the end of the summer and we were limited to one income. Remember those spreadsheets I mentioned? Well, Chase had a spreadsheet for every possible scenario. One of those scenarios was our finances with one income. It was doable, but we definitely couldn't afford a car payment. We paid our last car payment on August 8, 2011, and because I had gotten a job, we refinanced to a fifteen year mortgage.

After that, we had to have an emergency fund, and since our doggy destroyed the hand-me-down furniture from my parents, we had to replace that as well, and our furnace, and our hot water heater, and, and, and...you know how it goes.

This year, we decided. We're going. Jamaica, Grand Cayman, Cozumel. Don't be jealous, just come with us!!

Now I See!

My Christmas present? New eyes!

PRK (Photorefractive Keratectomy) vision correction surgery, to be precise. There are always a lot of questions about it, and I had questions myself. I'd never heard of it before my doctor recommended it to me. That meant I had to do research. Now, I wasn't much of a researcher before Chase, but we Goodings never go blindly into anything (see what I did there?). 

I learned a LOT about my surgery from blogs just like this one, so I'm going to pay it forward. It's a lot of detailed information (on purpose), so it might be a little boring if you're not considering the surgery.

WARNING:  THIS IS NOT FOR THE SQUEAMISH OR FAINT OF HEART!!!!

They used a rotating toothbrush on my eyeball...that's about the worst of it, so if you handled that, you'll get through the rest.

Honestly, there were only two pretty excruciating parts of this process. The first was scheduling the dang thing! Most of that, honestly, was my fault. I wanted a specific day and time since I get two weeks off for the holidays. The family I work with is so good to me that I wanted to be sure to try my best not to take time off work (I had heard I'd be down for the count for at least 3 days). In retrospect, I'm really glad I scheduled it when I had time off. There was no way I could've driven on day four.

I ended up using a surgery center recommended by my optometrist, Clearview Eyecare and Laser Center in Southlake, and they were absolutely fantastic. I would highly recommend them to anyone considering PRK or LASIK. They were kind, accommodating, and helpful. When I arrived, everyone had a smile, they were reassuring, patient, and knowledgeable. The girl who walked me from check-in to surgery had recently had the surgery, and was a great help to me. It was her job to take all kinds of measurements and look at my eyes just to make sure they had all the particulars correct. She also explained the post-op drops, which you need a college degree to comprehend, and made sure I understood exactly what to do. I asked her questions, and she kept telling me that I would be fine. By the time I was ready for surgery, I had almost all my fears conquered. Almost.

The surgery actually didn't bother me at all. I started to have a panic attack and cried right before they spun me under the laser. They just kept telling me to breathe and didn't stop working. I'm glad they did because I might've broken down and asked for an anti-anxiety something-or-other, but it was over too fast to be really traumatic. They started by putting a whole lot of numbing drops into my eyes. After the drops, they taped my left eye shut and inserted whatever they used to keep my right eye pried open. I couldn't feel it at all because my eyes were numb. Next, they put a ton of drops in...probably a couple of different kinds. I'm not really sure; it was all a bit of a blur (I'm on a roll!).

Now comes the good part...the rotating toothbrush. It took them awhile to toothbrush me because they kept telling me to look at this red dot...that I couldn't see ...because there was a toothbrush on my eye! So I guess I was looking up and around, but not where they could get to the right part of my eye. They use the toothbrush, from what I read, to remove the epithelial layer of cells. That's what makes PRK different from LASIK. With LASIK, they cut a flap in your cornea and peel it back. There's no cutting with PRK. Just toothbrushing. Then I think there was another drop, maybe? And what felt like an eyeball squeegee (yeah, I had to look up how to spell that). Now the good stuff. The laser. "Just stare at that red dot again, and don't move for 15 seconds"...and 15 seconds later that was over. In some blogs I had read, people said that they could smell burning eyeball. Ew. I did not smell anything. Like I said, fast. Painless, too...up to this point, anyway. They did the other eye the exact same way, the doctor looked me over, and that was it.

The other difficult portion of my surgery was recovery. I knew from reading that I wouldn't be able to see very well for the first several days because the epithelial layer of cells had to grow back, form a ridge, and be repositioned by my eyelid. I didn't see well enough to drive until about day five or six, with the day of my surgery counted as day one. I didn't have any pain the entire way home, so I thought, "This is great!" Famous. Last. Words.

We went to Wal-Mart to get all my eyedrops, and I had to abandon Chase in the checkout line because I was in so much pain. I also was extremely light sensitive. I had on roll-out shades and giant sunglasses, but could not stand to have my eyes uncovered. I sat in the car, my face buried in a sweatshirt, until Chase got me home.

I wish I had been told more information about trying to put in these super important drops while not being able to open my eyes. I should have made Chase put in my eyedrops, but he "doesn't like eyes." They freak him out. For this reason, I tried to do my drops myself...in almost complete darkness. I was a mess. Further advice: sleep as much as possible the first few days. They give great pain meds. Take them and sleep. You might want to invest in a good eye mask as well. I already had one that is extra soft and not tight at all...which my doctor said was important. I started to worry a bit around 4 PM when I still couldn't open my eyes without excruciating pain. We called my optometrist's office. I talked to a receptionist who talked to the office manager who talked to the doctor. When the office manager came back to me, she said I should come in right away for an emergency visit. She sounded concerned. This sent me over the edge into full panic mode. I might've cried a little...just sayin.

When we arrived at the office, they were waiting for me,

"Denise Gooding? Oh, is this the emergency patient?" said one nurse to the office manager while looking at me with pity.

Breathlessly, the office manager replied, "Yes, let's get her in a room right away."

Really, people? REALLY? Even if it's terrible, fake like it's not. The doctor came into the room where they'd put me. She looked me over, shined her light in my eyes (Did I mention the light sensitivity?!). She pretty much said I had a low pain tolerance and nothing seemed out of order. I told her I had been having a really hard time putting in my drops. She told me that it's really easier if someone else does it...then came the "come to Jesus meeting" for Chase. We looked at Chase...inside, I know he must have been in the fetal position because he hates eyes. He doesn't like to stare longingly into them, prolonged eye contact of any kind makes him uncomfortable (he and our Border Collie have that in common), and, above all, he does NOT want to touch one!!!

He just smiled meekly and said, "Yeah, I could do it."

My hero.

From then on, it was mostly a breeze. I slept most of days two and three. By day four, I was up and doing most normal activities. There were still some moments when I had to go into "Diva Mode" from the light sensitivity and wear my sunglasses inside. I could see well enough to drive by probably Tuesday or Wednesday after having surgery on the previous Friday.

Four and a half weeks have passed since my surgery. As far as my vision goes, I can see well enough to complete all daily activities. The sharpness (vs. blurriness) comes and goes, but I rarely have times when I notice that I want to see something but can't. When my eyes are dry and at night, I notice my vision is at its worst. At night, my eyes are usually the driest, so they go hand in hand. I also still see halos around lights at night. The degree of the halos also changes from day to day. I knew not to expect my best visual acuity right out of the gate because of the way the cells have to regenerate and resettle. Everything I've read/been told indicates that it will be approximately three months before I will see like I did with contacts (or maybe better!).

I would definitely do all of this again. When I leave the house, I still stop for a second to think, "Where are my glasses? Did I put in my contacts? Oh, wait, I don't have to do that anymore!!!"

Blaggravations

A few days ago, a friend asked me and Chase what our strengths and weaknesses were as a couple. It's pretty hard to put into words, but we almost instantly agreed that we are complements to each other and work well as a team. One of us usually excels in an area where the other is weak, and this makes life easier...or sometimes exasperating. While getting ready for bed last night, I had to laugh as I witnessed this principle at work.

Chase:  So this blog thing?

Me:  Yeah?

Chase:  What's our plan?

Me:  What do you mean? We have a blog, so we write in it.

Chase:  Yeah, but, like, weekly? I was thinking weekly...

Me:  You can write in it weekly. I just want to write in it whenever I want.

Chase:  OK...I was thinking we could write in it weekly and switch off. That way neither of us has to carry too much of the burden. 

Me:  So you'd like to write in it every other week?

Chase:  Yeah.

Me:  OK, great. You can write a blog every other Friday, and I'll write whenever I want.

[Long pause...]

Chase:  So what about our readers? How will they know when they're supposed to check the blog?

Me:  Our readers?

Chase:  Yeah. And how will we stay accountable? We need to have a schedule so that we don't get lazy and never write and then give up in a few months. If you have a weekly deadline and expectations, you won't get lazy.

Me:  I get that. But you're stifling my creativity. Writing is supposed to be fun for me. The word "deadline" grosses me out. Do you want me to hate it?

Chase:  No. I want you to want to write.

Me:  How about I write whenever I want...with a minimum of once a week?

Chase:  Yeah, that should be ok.

Me:  Good. [Laughing] I'm going to blog about this tomorrow.

Chase's Top 5

To finish off our series on our struggles beginning a blog, here are my top 5 reasons for not starting a blog:

5) Finding the Perfect Words

So I'm a bit of a perfectionist. I'm also more of a numbers guy than a words guy. So if I ever have something significant to say, I tend to keep it to myself because I have trouble figuring out exactly what I want to say and how I want to say it. It takes me a long time to really piece it together.

4) Not Enough Motivation

Assuming I have something possibly worth sharing, it takes me a while to compose the exact words I want to use. No one is forcing me to share my thoughts. I've lived perfectly fine for 28 years without sharing those thoughts. So why start now? Why take the time to form those words, to piece together those thoughts and share them? Usually I would just save them up and share them verbally with Denise. But, perhaps my words can motivate someone else...drive someone to action.

3) Difficult To Adjust Routine

So between the difficulty in composition and the lack of motivation, why physically take the time to do all of that work? Could my time be better used somewhere else? I'm probably not alone in this, but I tend to work best with routine. If I can work a certain goal or task into my daily/weekly routine, I'm much more likely to actually do it.  So the question, I guess, is: do I want to take the time to figure out how to work this into my routine?

2) People Won't Be Interested

Let's assume I find those perfect words, I've figured out a topic I'm passionate about and I've found the time to write about it. That's only worthwhile if someone is actually going to read it. But what if someone reads it and has no interest in the topic whatsoever? Then I've lost my one and only reader and we're back to square one. Fortunately, my interests are a pretty mixed bag so I have the potential of attracting a wide range of readers. Unfortunately, my topics can also be somewhat obscure. But perhaps that could be a good thing after all. Who wants to read about the same topics over and over again from everybody?

1) People Won't Understand or I'll Offend Someone

Hopefully the topics I touch on with this blog will be rather neutral. I might create another wing for any topics that might have more potential of being offensive or divisive (e.g. politics, doctrinal issues, etc.). We'll see about that. But even with topics that seem neutral, there always seems to be some landmines waiting to triggered. Maybe I'll word something improperly, and you'll read it wrong. I don't fear offending strangers who may read the blog; someone is always offended about something. I am concerned about driving away a friend unintentionally or unknowingly.

With Denise and I working together on this blog, hopefully these excuses will be overcome. If we tag team, it won't be so overwhelming and we'll be able to motivate one another. She'll also do a good job of filtering my posts so that they remain pertinent and reader-friendly.

In the words of Usher, “These are my confessions..."

When I got laid off from my three-year teaching job, I decided to focus on pursuing my other interests, namely writing. That was almost two years ago, and I’ve done basically nothing about it. I realize that I need an outlet, and I'm not pushing myself as a writer. I thrive on a daily battle with words that forces my mind to be sharp and active. Will everything I post be astoundingly intellectual? Umm…I’d love it if you tell me that it is. I'm no Pulitzer winner, and I don't presume to be (even in my wildest dreams). I do want to write, and I've been making excuses to keep myself from doing it.

Top 5 excuses for not starting a blog:

5. All the good titles are taken.

But seriously...all of them. We're lucky our name fits into an idiom. We would've had no creativity if our name were something more complicated. Being the pun-loving people that we are, we had to explore all of our options. We had a few front-runners:  toogoodingtobetrue, sofarsogooding, ingoodingfaith. Aaaaand some we turned down instantly:  afatlotofgoodings, goodingfornothing, whatsgoodingforthegoose.

4. The last time I started a blog...

It ended badly. And by that, of course, I mean it didn't end at all. It's just hanging out there in cyberspace/simultaneously over my head...untouched. I had a pretty specific purpose (critiquing YAF), and once I wasn't teaching anymore, the drive for that kind of went out the window. Maybe now I should take that blog to children's books. Or maybe limit it only to board books as that's kind of my world as a nanny.

3. Nobody wants to read what I have to write.

Everyone feels this, I know. If you don't, you must be awesomely humble to go along with everything else you're good at doing!

2. I don't have original ideas.

This is a half-truth, and kind of crosses over reason #3. If I do have an original idea, I tell myself nobody would want to read it.

1. Everyone else is doing it.

I am completely ridiculous about this. I hate to start a blog because everyone else is doing it, and EVERYONE I know seems to have a blog. As I'm sure Chase would tell everyone, I do not do anything that someone makes me do. Tell me to do something, and I'll probably want to do it less.

Swallowing my pride about these issues and biting the bullet has been easier than I thought...we'll see how I feel in three months.